Today is one of those days I wish negative things about me were unsaid.

Some say,

Actions speak louder than words.

But I believe otherwise; it’s still louder when you directly hear it.

Actions, no matter how spontaneous or natural, are always subject to the speculation of the observer. Speculating on the implicit leads to nothing but speculation itself, not verification. No one has a hold on what was not stated; the only way to validate something is to hear it.

A word said is like a hand which slapped someone; one has to establish it on your face, to prove how stupid/insensitive you were, to wake you up from madness.

Words extinguish speculation of the act; words prompt us to reflect on what was said, why something was done, and why something was explicitly stated.

That explains why I’m more sensitive with words I hear from other people. Because of high self-expectations, many times, my ego cannot handle criticisms.

Particularly when something was expressed bluntly.

How I wish people would exercise control with words. Sometimes they point out things bluntly.

I don’t imply refusal to take negative things people said about me. Again, I’m sensitive with words and therefore I pay attention to what was said. Of course I welcome criticisms that aim to discover and hone potentials, to improve, and to empower.

However, when we are dealing with negatives, isn’t it but prudent to think about the words we use, the manner of delivery, and the context of saying such? Because many people utter words as if these are value-free! People mention negative words like how they breathe!

People say negatives as if you have not done something good. People focus on what we did wrong than what we achieved, regardless if the latter clearly outnumbers the former.

It’s always easy to notice a stain on an all-white shirt. But is it harder to say, ‘Hey, be careful next time when eating‘ than, ‘You’re downright stupid for spilling that sauce over your shirt‘?

Tell me.

And how I wish I have higher tolerance for blunt and negative words said to me because these always put me down.

I know I shouldn’t be ranting on this issue. As I said last post, I have a choice to control my emotions, to direct my life, to live my life’s ought-to-be. Definitely.

I always have a choice to ignore what others say. People tend to say things based on the information available. I can simply think statements are baseless/has less basis. Thus, these should not matter because I know myself better.

And rather than dwelling with the apparent bluntness, I could have just ignored the negative connotation, work on what’s positive, and regard it as a learning experience.

Now it looks like what I feel now is the exact opposite of what was said. And now you’re telling me that I’m lying when I said words verify the act.

OK, I lose on this one. I usually choose to sulk and become resistive.

But please explain to me how paramount rudeness is when establishing a point–unless one wants to amplify his/her negative, premeditated notions of an individual.

And to be fair, feelings are involuntary actions. Feelings cannot be chosen as these are a function of the automatic filter our brain does on what actually strikes us/validates our present disposition. But again, how to take it is the prerogative I may exercise. I don’t need to carry this feeling for days.

***
In short, this post only tells two things: (1) to be careful with words and (2) to be careful with how words are taken/handled.

Advertisements