When Step One May Be Everything

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While on my way home, I was thinking of what to do this weekend – The Great Breather. Frankly I’m quite stressed thinking about what’s going to happen next week as The Test enters the scene.

Junjie, a good friend, indirectly suggested an idea. He said a movie marathon with a pint of ice cream awaits him this weekend. So how about me?

Finally, I had the will to discover new music tonight!

I still kept the document where the links Keishia gave us during our team meeting a few months back were compiled. Good heavens I still remember my former IBM email address. Anyway, tonight was more of an indie-alternative-slash-pop night. Of course it’s Friday and even though I’m at home, celebration should be turned on! Also, that’s what I truly like to listen to – not too heavy, not too mellow, quite upbeat and pop-ish, and sounds good to the ears.

Ctrl + click the link. Instinct says streaming may be the first best option before downloading anything to save bandwidth (I actually don’t know if it did save since technically it may be more wasteful). Later on, I found myself clicking on random posts searching for no particular band. The act was quite a routine but enjoyable as I give every track a try. Fortunately all of the picks I had are the ones suiting my preference and mood.

I downloaded everything I found tonight, without worrying of the other tracks included in the album. Anyway I’m looking for indies and it’s quite impractical to search for and hoard the other songs. Besides, this get-the-whole-album attitude in downloading songs must be changed. Can’t I just get and play what I want to hear instead of becoming extremely obsessive-compulsive in beefing up the list? That’s just for bragging rights and no one actually benefits from it except from, well, no one (not even myself).

Great music appreciation session indeed!

***

And now, I’m scribbling nonsense on this ageing laptop. Perhaps I miss writing rants? (By saying that, it means writing for me has become synonymous with ranting, which defies this blog’s purpose.)

No, not that. Abstinence from writing sank into me upon reading an online article a few days back about developing a habit of doing something you like. Admit it, we have endless activities in mind but disempowerment always veers us away from doing things consistently and regularly. This is not to mention other factors like distraction and downright laziness.

So what might be a good solution? Decide to do a specific activity for ten minutes, whatever that is. After that period, you may go back to what you were previously doing like slacking off and watching your favourite series. At least you were not guilty of postponing that activity again. Do that as frequent as possible.

Doing it for ten minutes isn’t the point, really. You’ll just realise that time may become immaterial as you progress, finding yourself engrossed for a period longer than ten minutes.

Oh, I’ve written a post this long already? :)

Sometimes all we need is a single step.

P.S. Sorry I can’t remember the link but I’m in no way intending to plagiarise the idea from that article. In fact, that was helpful in the success of tonight’s jam and in finishing this blog post. :)

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Eleven Things, One Year: Midway

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Half a year has passed. What happened to the eleven things I wrote on January? Though some might not have read these, I’ll paste each item’s gist, assess what led to its realisation/relative delay, and identify what measures are needed to achieve these before the year ends.

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Short Segments: Incidents On Commute

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I saw two mobile phone-related incidents this week. While the victims weren’t hurt, their stories should make us more vigilant when using public transport systems.

***
Incident 1: Snatched
Cubao is indeed a busy place to pass by, having an uncanny mix of people–from those who buy Starbucks to those who sip a cup of coffee from some eateries around. Many people walk along Cubao to go to their respective offices, boutiques, bus stations and food establishments. It’s undeniable that some people take advantage of this chaotic scene.

A few days back, a girl riding an ordinary bus yelled at someone. I was walking along EDSA-Cubao. Curious who she was yelling at, I saw the snatcher diving under a steel fence. He accidentally lost his grip on the phone while rushing to break away. The unit was quickly recovered though and the snatcher blended with the crowd.

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Short Segments: Working Out

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Just three short segments for today’s post.

***
What about the Chollima?
The page you’re reading is actually a must-feature for Project Kick.

Why? Just one major reason.

The Twelfth Chollima‘ is relatively one of the pages with the most regular updates since 2009. It’s an achievement. Despite current work load and lack of drive towards many interests, I still choose to write–with my heart in and for it.

Writing down thoughts to ponder on has indeed elevated. A similarity I saw between the old and new blog is its posts being spur-of-the-moment. That’s not new especially for personal bloggers who write longer than 140 characters to answer the ‘What are you doing?’ question.

But relative depth delineates Chollima from The Buzzerbeater. While Buzzerbeater was happy-go-lucky and trivial, Chollima is inquisitive and reflective. Although both characters write from experience, Chollima’s works are truly harnessed from what he has been becoming.

Project Kick, for instance, lives up to its purpose (and even of my blog’s)–to kick some hope. What a way to talk with myself through an unresponsive medium! That’s helpful and therapeutic. Little by little, I’m closer to rediscovering myself, knowing what I want to do and doing them without hesitation, fear and shame.

I’m no philosopher nor charismatic leader/thinker though. That’s another issue. LOL

Despite these notable developments, guess what, I haven’t found time to write a better About page though the answers look quite obvious! Perhaps the time and drive need to volt in an instant. Ha-ha.

***
Is ‘Tongue Out!’ out of the sphere?
Fact: I’ve not been updating Tongue Out! as regular as promised.
Fiction: I’m not tonguing out (dining in/visiting) to different food establishments in the metro recently.

To be honest, I’m quite adjusting to what a food blog must be.

What should I be featuring? How should an establishment/food be featured? How to rate them? What should be the blog’s standard yet unique way of presenting its feature? What icon must I use? What can make my blog more exciting?

Also, having two blogs may be wise or otherwise. The advantages of pouring every content possible in a specific page offer ease in maintenance and publicity. But practicality may sacrifice the blog’s theme/focus even with tags all over the place. Decision, indeed, is depended on how I envisioned my blog. Quite idealistic but possible–I want to embark my style online.

The challenge is putting meat on a very nice concept of Tongue Out! :)

***
Working out on what to do for workout
2009. My first sight of the gym. If you’re thinking of me with a bouncer-like biceps and defined six-pack, stop imagining in the meantime. I’m three million steps away from having a Ryan Reynolds-like built.

I chose to stay up quite late today for two reasons: to ‘normalise’ my sleeping pattern and to plan my fitness activities for the coming weeks. Thanks to Adidas miCoach for making sitting in front of the monitor a good way to chisel my abs. The roster of exercises are good enough for an insecure semi-newbie at the gym.

But as of the moment, nothing has finalised! I’m quite sleepy now but worried on what I should do later this afternoon.

On Writing and Re-Starting

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Many people think of me as an open book. Blame it to me talking too much at times and trusting easily even to new people I’ve just conversed with, it’s as if I have told everyone how colourful my life is. What remains hidden to these spectators, however, is my tendencies of seclusion especially when things turn out quite chaotic than what should be. And whenever understanding seems too elusive, I find refuge in writing.

Besides consciously organising random thoughts, writing has been a unique way of talking to myself. The world becomes more challenging day by day. Changes happen, whether wanted or unwanted. Issues of motivation, trust and capabilities hound any growing individual. These concerns, more often than not, are being faced simultaneously as we struggle to keep up with the things happening in the macro. Thus, there is a need for humans to consistently know where the change comes from, identify what triggers it and understand how that particular change can actually serve for one’s betterment and the contribution of such betterment to the community.

That’s the reason I have been keeping to continue writing even if many of these thoughts left unpublished or are simply being random. I am hungry (and at the same time thrilled) to understand how my inner universe works and the changes it has been undergoing.

But writing isn’t all about heaven. Honestly, I am disappointed. I have been writing since I was young and, although I have the potential, I feel stagnancy. I have been failing to regularly update blogs and private electronic journals despite having OneNote and Springpad. I pride of storing different ideas and I yearn to explain these to people (even if these sound weird) but, most of the time, I struggle on putting my thoughts into words. It’s hard to select what to blog about and how to write it.

Believe me, writing is difficult for me. I cannot even see myself writing for a living!

Either I need more practice or I should read more. Perhaps both.

***
Today (at the time of writing: tonight) is my last day of being bum.

Despite having a previous employer, the Day-One-at-Work eve still has the magic to inject a feeling of a fresh graduate. I’m anxious on this new start in a field unimaginable to me years ago. I can’t help thinking about my capabilities to adjust to a new surrounding. Where my skills would take me and what’s in store for me in the coming days remain unknown. Inhibitions haunt me. Yet I’m welcoming this particular opportunity, with dreams intact to ensure self-development and to aid others in helping themselves. I am willing to re-start, to rehabilitate the damaged me and to improve what I have even if it means an uncanny mix of joy and pain.

I’m ready to gradually handle varying responsibilities, to become less negative, to discover what I want to be, to realise things I have envisioned myself with, to be frustrated and to re-start again if needed. Through charting the life I have lived and applying every lesson to take the yet unearthed path, learning won’t be compromised.

I believe in myself–and in my talent to re-discover myself. If I need to use another name, so be it.

***
Okay, I have been random again. In an attempt to fully make sense on this page, I need an interesting theme where my posts revolve. I hope to determine it very soon–and yes, find time.

From One Thought to Another

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In my effort to organise thoughts, I’ve been using Springpad to compose and store posts for ‘The Twelfth Chollima‘. Due to its Web-based nature, people who have been using at least two different computers will find it very helpful. Inch by inch, we are departing from the world dominated by USBs for text document storage!

Wherever you are and whenever thoughts splash, you can just load the application, type the necessary words and store them! If editing is needed and you need to access the text at another place with another computer, loading and doing the task require minimum energy from your fingertips. Even inside a crowded train and an idea instantaneously flashed, Springpad efficiently performs. Thank your intelligent smart phone for that.

For three days, I’ve been wanting to create an entry during dull moments at work, but to my surprise Springpad won’t load in the office! OneNote is an alternative, but I’m too obsessive-compulsive to let my drafts stray in different computers and applications. Today, it still won’t load but I really need to write!

Now that I’m using Web connection at home, it’s fully functional!

***
Habits can be consciously formed in twenty-one days.

Credits to the planner I’ve retrieved from Coffee Bean for encouraging me to form new habits. Recently, I have an initial success in ensuring that I leisurely read everyday. That changed the time I spend commuting everyday.

Let’s try it on watching football games. On my future posts, perhaps I can relate matches to a more personal level. Promise, I won’t sleep longer than seven hours just to catch the attempts to nail a goal.

***
Since childhood, we all have our ambitions. From the pettiest ones, our dreams snowball and evolve into a coherent, interrelated set. Whatever these dreams are will always be a product of our’s achievements, failures and even stagnancy.

Through having an ambition, we look forward to the future. We reflect on what we have and what we can utilise to achieve them. Mistakes are rectified for the better. We adopt a particular philosophy or a hybrid of the existing ones, forming our vision. When it happens, it’s as if the remaining steps follow: we gain different perspectives, learn and apply approaches to certain situations, improve our overall outlook and extend help beyond the betterment of our family. Being ambitious isn’t a sin, after all.

But sometimes, ambitiousness hinders our capability to realise them.

Some people are negatively changed by their ambitions. They have seemed to practise their ideals like how they wear clothes, posing an appropriate stance when the occasion calls for it. These people are willing to sacrifice what they used to stand for in the name of fame. What’s worse, they preach about these things with conviction though their actual lives do not radiate such proclamation. Worst, they distort the true meaning of what they have been sticking to!

Imagine the tradition infiltrating our youth. In turn, our universities are propagating professionals of such breed. No wonder many of those serving in the government are slaves to their one-sided desires.

***
I always hope for a better, brighter day every time I get off the bed. Definitely the universe has reasons for us to wake up each day despite yesterday’s pains, today’s stress and tomorrow’s inhibitions. Today must not be the same with yesterday and tomorrow! We could have not lived another day if these were bound to stay the same everyday.

Sometimes, however, I feel quite dormant. Neither I am seeing significant changes nor improvement in my overall personality. I feel static and negative. Well, you can partly blame it to spontaneity which treats repetition as dull, ugly and uncreative. But I’m telling you it’s beyond that nature.

Though it does not mean that I like frequent changes. I like changes when these are necessary. When these come without any warning and out of necessity, I don’t like it. Maybe I’m just annoyed with some unwarranted changes I’m seeing lately. To tell you the truth, I do not want these issues I’m dealing with. Who wants negativity and low self-esteem, anyway? For the meantime, I have to bear with them.

Goals

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Stray dogs, after all, could kick much celebration into a basketball-obsessed country.

Our apparent focus to improve developmental basketball program and its players weirded me since childhood. We aren’t Caucasians having less melanin against the harmful UV rays. We stand shorter relative to the Americans, Serbians, Argentines, Germans and Chinese; but we are (and could be) as agile as Brazilians, Spanish and Koreans. Our spirit inside any battlefield is unquestionable, and reclaiming the basketball crown we used to wear is not a foolproof excuse to neglect another sport suited for Filipinos.

Good thing, the current squad of the Azkals is willing to propagandise through continuously nailing goals and efforts to sustain the augmenting football fever in the Philippines! Although in reality, I never needed that stint to pay attention to football.

***

While many Filipinos were feasting over Mongolian barbecue, I was grilling myself.

What are your goals in life?

More than the difficulty I had to package my answer, I discovered that the problem is the answer itself! To be brutally honest, I don’t know what these goals are.

But a part of me gave an excuse. ‘Hey, maybe he still can’t determine it at the moment, but he has prospects.

Thank you for sparing me. It was a breather.

So a better question was suggested.

Do you have any goal at the moment?

Perplexed, I refused to answer. This time, silence does not mean yes.

Well, it means yes—if it means the absence of such.

End of story? No, not yet.

Then I was asked of the things I want to be that aren’t necessarily classified as a goal. Obviously that’s just nuts, but I kept mum.

Now you know the situation I’m into isn’t as simple as that.